Sunday, November 13, 2016


Deep behind my brain, I ask myself why I feel all this pain, today. Go away don't bother me, anxiety attacks are sickening me again. Oh, why? Deep behind my eyes, I look far outside my bedroom window. Goodbye, farewell, don't bother me. Today, my brain feels like mush, my toes are tingling with lust. Don't leave me, my friend, don't leave me, my love. I'm tripping on my shadow, staring at your glasses, my reflection blinks back at me in the sun, my friend- Don't bother me because deep behind my brain I'm biting my tongue, the words I want to say, caught in my throat. Honey, I'd like you better with your fists around my heart. I don't sleep, just can't breathe without you talking to me- Deep behind my eyes, I sit down and ask myself why I feel all this pain ... Honey, I'd like you better if you'd just kiss me ...please. — maybe, I'm afraid


Bleeding, falling down a dark hole - I've lost control, and I see you, friend, at the end of this hell, you make life seem more like a dream than reality. More intense feelings inside my head - I see you, friend and I can't wait for death to wrap his hands around my neck, I can't breathe now - I'm coughing up blood now - you make me want to die, friend. You make me want to cry, friend - I look all around me but I can't see, friend - I'm blinded by my hatred for you, friend and yet when I close my eyes all I see is your hazel ones and man, I die over and over again. I'm spinning, friend - I've lost control again. — We Are All Innocent Until We Speak.


I saw you and all I wanted to do was die. You make my heart stop in a good way but I can't touch you, I can't be near you. You're too good for me;
I block out the sound of the rest of the world because while I talk to you, I don't want to hear myself- doubting my words, you speak so freely. Man, I think I'm falling. This effect of blurred fragments and my heart beating erratic, I can't breathe dude, don't smile at me! I'm crumbling.
To dust and dirt, I lay on my bed trying to forget you but again my brain has other plans.


Night, sight- where the hell is my mind?
Breathe, eat- I can't seem to think.
Cry, sleep- you make me want to scratch at my skin, good thing I'm already dead, my friend. 


You pull my heart towards you with every word you say, but my brain is screaming to get out of the way- her heart is still beating, she'll come back to you one day. I'll rip my own heart out so you don't have to, this rejection and jealousy I feel will fade away soon.. I'm already nothing to you. 

On these walls I scrawl your name, I want to hate you but I can't- my feelings keep getting in the way.
You're so beautiful, and I'm no match for you. I thought I could handle it- keep control but I spoke too soon for I have fallen, but deep down inside I know you don't feel the same so I'll pretend to be fine- I'll hide my feelings, I'll be okay. — Thoughts from the broken/a monster you've created.


If I just think about you and her then I won't cry anymore. I'll be too numb to care. Too numb to feel.
Just let me drown.
In this storm, I breathe in regret, every word I've said, what was I thinking? Stocking up the pain? Too much love and not enough hate, kill me- stab my brain, I'd rather not think, never again.
Every picture I see of you, all I want to do is kiss you and it makes me sick to live with these feelings in my heart- rip it out, I'll feel better. Rewind time, so I can stop myself before I jump head first into deep, water.
I drown. - Rip my heart out, I'm waiting.


I shouldn't talk, shouldn't think- look where it has gotten me. So emotional I can't breathe, lungs collapsed- my heart is dead.
My heart is dead.
My brain has rot, my soul is gone- virginity lost to the Devil. 
Eyes crossed, I'm colour blind- bite my tongue.
Swallow more, drink more, fuck more, kill me.
Like it or love it- can't hate it, just see it and feel it.
I feel myself all night and day- moaning, breaking bones, only I'm to blame.
They're gone, you're gone- I'm still here drowning in the rain, suffocating myself away. Lightning struck's through pitch black sky and I see your face staring at me.
What do you want? I can't see, the light has gone and I'm too scared to open my eyes to feel you dying next to me. — Fear or wonder, I forget